Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Me Myself I's LiveJournal:

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Friday, February 11th, 2005
7:36 am	Announcement.... I doubt this will affect most of the people reading this stuff, but from now on this journal is going to be friends-only. It's something I should have done a while ago, and am kicking myself for. If you're not on my flist, let me know if you want to be added... Current Mood: Oops (58 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Monday, February 7th, 2005
4:09 pm	Sophie, you'll love this... I'm taking a class on critical analysis of drama this quarter, and I put myself in the Gay/Lesbian critique group. For my part of my presentation, I'm planning on showing how Frodo and Sam actually do have more than friendship feelings for each other. Anyone have any suggestions for scenes I should show? I only have access to the ROTK DVD, so that limits me somewhat, but...well, suggestions would be helpful! And I've got other news, but I think I'll wait with it a little...I'll just leave you with the thought that everything seems better when you find someone within touching distance that you know would like to kiss you. Extra points if you've just met this person, and already have mutual attraction. Current Mood: excited (22 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Saturday, February 5th, 2005
12:43 am	I blame my computer (sorry, Darling) Well, I've tried, really I have, but I can't seem to upload the song that a couple people have demanded at gunpoint asked for. So, since this one is pretty common (I think), I'm just going to tell you what it is: Lisa Loeb - Stay And, having said that...(or, what prompted this whole entry in the first place) 1) Pick a song that you love, that you want me to forever associate with you. 2) Upload it on yousendit.com/your domain. 3) Comment with the link. 4) Post this so you can make a mix that reminds you of the people that you love/like the most in the entire world. (7 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
12:00 am	To match that other meme I posted the other day... (stolen from lady_phoenixice) If you read this, especially if I don't speak to you often or we've never met, please post a memory of me that you just made up right now. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it never happened. A full blown delusion would be best. Then post this to your journal. See what people pretend about you. Current Mood: curious (32 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
1:16 pm	My dream I had a great dream last night. I was in a high school, but it wasn't mine and I doubt I've ever been there before. Looking out the many windows, I'd say it was still in the Pacific Northwest, and furthermore in somewhere slightly less developed than I'm used to. I knew I was twenty (at one point, I even told someone my age) which in and of itself was odd, because in real life I'm often a few years behind unless I think about my age. I also knew that most of the people around me were actual high schoolers, although some of them were older for some reason. I started out just touring the halls, running across a few couples making out and thinking, "Gee, they didn't let us do that when I was in school..." It seemed kind of like people went to class when they wanted, but that there wasn't so much of a fixed schedule for it. I was amazed at all the people around me, and kind of surprised that none of them were making me at all uncomfortable (I don't normally like crowds, ususally because at least one person in them puts off vibes I don't like). I got kind of lost, and started feeling like there was somewhere I was supposed to be. A guy came up to me and started talking to me, almost like we were friends even though we both knew we'd never met before. He was wearing a suit, kind of like a zoot suit but not quite, with a black fedora. We decided to go into a small theater in the school (little more than a dark room with a bunch of chairs arranged on one side). We were alone for a couple minutes, but then people started filing in, the lights dimmed, and a production/class started. In the darkness, I was sitting there hoping that the guy wasn't too young, because I didn't want to break any laws or anything like that. He put his arm around me, and when I leaned against him, he took his other hand and put his palm against my chest, just below my collarbone. Oh, god. I don't know if I can describe the sensations that caused. It wasn't really sexual, but it was almost like there was just pure energy, flowing through me, starting where his palm touched my skin and circulating up and down my spine, into my head, pretty much encompassing me. I couldn't think anything except that I didn't want this to stop, never wanted it to stop. And then, of course, my alarm clock went off. I didn't get up right away (okay, I hit the sleep button for two hours...), and while I didn't see the guy again, I kind of walked around the school again in a daze. I hardly registered the people around me or the walls I was bumping into every now and then. When I did eventually get up, though, I had so much energy. I'm still a little dazed, but I feel like I can and will take care of all the thousands of things I need to get done. Now, the question is, who was that guy in the fedora? And will he come back? Current Mood: rejuvenated (25 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
1:08 pm	Because I'm curious If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must would you please post a memory of me? It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened. Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you! Current Mood: curious (31 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005
4:06 pm	Maybe I should just be a writer... Today in class, my drama professor was handing back papers. Before he did so, he gave us a speech on how horrible most of the papers were, and even felt a need to explain what it means in Word when a word or line is underlined in red or green (I shudder to think of what he had to read to prompt that...). He said that pretty much all of the papers were covered in red, and that we'd all basically need to re-write the papers for the revision turn-in. In fact, he hadn't even bothered to grade the papers this time around. I got my paper back, and it had a total of three marks (all minor) and at the end, said, "This is a well-written paper (plus other stuff I don't really remember)". So...perhaps I should just go into writing. Anyone have any plot ideas? Current Mood: thoughtful (34 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
12:11 am	Averted heart attack I just spent about half an hour looking for the tickets for my sister's and my trip to Denmark during Spring Break. I was convinced I'd somehow managed to recycle them, and that I'd need to spend another $1,400 to get replacements. And then I found them, under yet another pile of papers. Good lord do I need to clean my apartment. Heart attack averted. Oh, and because all of you should probably know at some point or another, Keith and I broke up. Or, more accurately, Keith got drunk while I was out of town, cheated on me and then broke up with me because I wouldn't break up with him. And that's about all I want to say on the subject. Those of you who wish to say "I told you so" can kindly refrain from doing so to my face, as I do remember all of you saying so and do not need to be reminded. I also don't need to hear any of you saying "Well, I didn't want to say anything while you were going out, but now that you're broken up..." If you had said it while we were going out, it might have been some use to me (probably not, but I would have listened, at least). Now, all it does is underscore the fact that I screwed up yet again. And, in better news, at my debate tournament last weekend I won 4th place in two of my events: Poetry and Impromptu. Go me! Current Mood: thirsty (42 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Monday, January 31st, 2005
1:44 pm	Wanna be plotted? I'm trying to get all my Livejournal friends' locations plotted on a map - please add your location starting with this form. Username: (Then get your friends to!) Current Mood: curious (7 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
12:51 pm	BDSM tendancies show up early So, on my bus on the way to work today, there were about 30 screaming children. I had to stand next to three little girls (probably about 8) on a bench because there were no more seats left. During the whole 15 minute ride, two of them kept inadvertently kicking me, not hard, but to the point that I was tempted to just yell at them before I got off. What I found amusing, however, was that at one point, one of the girls pulled the other's ponytail. And when the other girl said, "Ow, stop that!" in no uncertain terms, the first girl said, "Do it to me! I deserve it!" And then smiled when her hair was pulled, and she was given a slap for good measure. Is it just me, or does anyone else think she's going to grow up to be a bratty sub? Current Mood: amused (4 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Thursday, January 27th, 2005
3:14 pm	I am stronger now I was going over back entries today, remembering what things were like six months ago, a year ago. It's odd, rereading it, listening to my own voice in my head and reliving the events I was writing about. My conclusion? I'm a slightly better person. I'm a stronger person. I went through the worst thing I could imagine living through, and I survived. I didn't let anything destroy me, even when I wanted to be destroyed. I'm not just stronger in that I know I can survive losing every one and everything I have, although that was something I realized I could do in the past year. I'm stronger because I realized I could let people get close to me, let people mean something to me. That has something to do with the idea that I can live through losing them, but it also has to do with a gradual acceptance of myself. Before, I had a logical understanding that it was okay to be me, but I was still waiting for the rest of the world to agree with me. Now, I've realized that the rest of the world doesn't matter in this instance. I accept me. I think I'm a good person to be. And that's all that matters. And the oddest part about that last revelation? It has become okay for me to be wrong. Not just in a "well, everything's possible, I suppose I could be wrong" kind of way, but in an "I'm not perfect yet, and if I don't realize that this needs improvement, I never will be" kind of way. I can get up in front of a room full of people I respect, give a speech off the cuff, and calmly accept criticism for it. Even a year ago, I don't think I could have heard the criticism without crying. I have lost people in the last year on accident. It's amazing how much more difficult it becomes to call someone as time goes by. I believe it's an exponential function. But I am getting over that, too. Gradually, slowly, I am figuring out how to use the phone to call people. If, by the way, you're one of the people I've lost, call me if you'd rather be found. Part of the reason I have so much trouble finding people once they're lost is that I start to think that they don't want to be found. I'm going to say here and now that if you're one of the people I've lost...I'd rather you weren't. I'd much rather have you as an active participant in my life. There's even someone that I never actually had that I feel like I lost...I don't know if she reads this or not, but she wanted to be lost and I told her I respected that, so I'm only going to post about her in the broadest of terms. Sigh. I've had so many people move through my life...and now I'm finally at a point were I want them to actually stay in my life. That's my current project on myself...make it easier for people to stay. Current Mood: accomplished (12 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Tuesday, January 25th, 2005
4:01 pm	What's better than a boyfriend who eagerly watches Buffy with you? How about one who not only doesn't complain at all when you get up at 5AM to work on the homework you should have done a few days ago, but gets up early with you so that he can make you a lovely ham and cheese omelet, and then washes the pan out afterwords? And, lucky me, I get both. Yeah, I'm gloating. I do that every now and then. Current Mood: jubilant (14 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Monday, January 24th, 2005
3:52 pm	Moldy cheese and an update on the psycho.... You know what's worse than buying moldy cheese on accident? Going back to exchange said moldy cheese, and realizing that the best you're going to get is slightly less moldy cheese, because all the cheese is moldy. And having to practically tour the store and be snapped at to figure that out. And in totally unrelated news, Keith found the journal for the girl I told you all about. And, in between laughing himself silly, he defended my honor, so to speak. I didn't even have to prompt him, either. Sorry this is so random and short, this week is a bit ridiculous. There will not be a day this week I get home before 7PM, except of course for Thursday, when I'll leave for Portland over the weekend and my next debate meet. Current Mood: busy (23 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
2:06 pm	What have I gotten myself into? So...I have no time. This is an established fact. For example, I woke up today at 6:30 to do my homework, left the apartment at 8:30, and will not be back until 10:30PM. That's fourteen hours outside my home, probably 18 hours that I'm awake. And then, yesterday, I get an email from someone who wants me to tutor them in chemistry. I'm already tutoring someone, which kind of blows me away because for the past couple quarters, I must have gotten about 15 emails asking for tutors and when these people heard that I charged $12.50/hour, I never heard from them again. So I emailed this guy back, saying that I could only tutor Mondays after 5PM or Fridays at 12:30, and told him my rate, thinking I'd never hear from him again, either. He emailed back saying he wants me to tutor him Mondays 5-7PM and Fridays 12:30-1:30. As in, three hours a week. As in, $37.50 a week. If you add the other person I'm tutoring, I'll be making an extra $62.50/week. That's nice. But it means I'll have even less time than before. Sigh. I won't sleep with people for money, but it seems I'll do almost anything else... Current Mood: weary (14 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
1:54 pm	I never feel quite as stupid as when I'm in school... Usually, I think I'm a decently intelligent person. I may be naive and gullible, but I'm intelligent, too. In fact, basically the only time I don't feel smart is when I'm either in my classes or trying to do homework for said classes. At those times, it feels like my brain has decided to sit in a corner and say, "No, this stuff is boring, I don't wanna do it, you can figure it out on your own." Figuring something out without your brain is damned difficult, let me tell you. For example, right now. I've been trying to write a single paragraph for the last couple hours. No go. I seem utterly unable of even comprehending the assignment. And I think it might be just me this time around (as opposed to my programming assignment, which even my TA think is unintelligible). Actually, I think if I thought the assignment really wasn't clear, I could work with that. I could say, "Okay, they haven't asked me for much, I only know x, but I can do y and z because I want to do that and the directions don't say anything either way on those subjects." Here, the directions are very specific, I just can't figure out what they mean. I think I need a break. I haven't had a break in...two weeks? Since the year started? Perhaps since the holidays? I want a day I can just laze around my apartment in my pajamas, eat ice cream, fool around on the internet, watch movies, and read a good book. Just one day. Then I'll willingly go back to this packed, never-home-before-8PM schedule I've created. I just want a bit of time to de-stress. Maybe I should just go home from work a couple hours early...except even then, I'd need to use that time for programming instead of relaxing. Still, that might mean I'd get all my homework done for once... I think I'll do that. (19 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Monday, January 17th, 2005
11:38 am	Because I feel like spamming you all twice... ( Yet another quiz thingy...and it doesn't even have decent (any) pictures. What's up with that? ) (12 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
10:17 am	I sense a need for a roadtrip... Stolen from ithisia ( Where I've been in the US (because my world map was too distorted) ) (11 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Thursday, January 13th, 2005
2:11 pm	I'm a TeddyBear! It's funny how accurate that actually is... eXpressive: 6/10 Practical: 4/10 Physical: 2/10 Giver: 10/10 You are a XSIG--Expressive Sentimental Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Teddy Bear. Hee! I just want to give you a big squeeze. You are tender, honest, generous and fair. You are an excellent kisser and a sensitive, communicative lover, and you know it. You would never intentionally hurt someone's feelings or overstep his/her boundaries. You have beautiful eyes. Most people take your laid-back attitude, blazing wit and subtle sexiness and stick you in "friend." But some see your extreme hotness for what it is and latch on. This means you have a few members of your target sex in the bank at all times -- I call this "money in the sex bank" -- but you're too sensitive and thoughtful to exploit them. More than once. You are so rational and deliberate in an argument that it can frustrate and exhaust your partner. Your fights can take forever, but your press on with them until they are completely resolved and both you and your partner are satisfied. If your partner is weak of will, s/he may just give in -- be wary of this! An emotional or passive-aggressive outburst later will hurt and horrify you. It is *critically important* that you are able to respect your partner. The moment you lose respect for him/her, you lose everything. When you make friends, you make them for life -- you can go without speaking to a friend for years and pick up right where you left off. You are completely faithful, both physically and emotionally. You are the second best (to XPIG) parent of any type. If you are male, you have a huge shlong. Just saying. Of the 177006 people who have taken this quiz, 8% are this type. If any of you would like to take it, the test can be found here Current Mood: amused (Put in some money?)
12:28 pm	For once, intelligence wins out! It's nice to hear about victories every now and then, isn't it? Go here for an actual explanation. Current Mood: happy (5 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)
Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
3:49 pm	A thought I was thinking today: in less than 5 years, I'll probably be in a career. I won't be going to work to pay for school, I'll be going to work to pay for...everything. Okay, that's no so different as the situation I'm in now, but right now my dad slips me money every now and then, and I doubt he'll be doing that after I graduate. I'm sure he would if I asked, but I don't even ask for money now. How would I justify asking him for money then? Anyway, it just...struck me. I'm almost fully grown up. I'm virtually self-supporting. I have more money in the bank than some people in their 40s that I know. In six months, I'll be able to drink alcohol legally (although I doubt I'll enjoy it any more than I already don't). It made me wonder if I was on the right track. It seems like I've been doing what I thought I should be doing, but I don't know if I ever really, really thought about what I wanted. Then again, maybe that's because I don't really know what I want. I want a house, yes. I want a big house, yes. I want a job that's flexible enough that I don't have to wait five years to go on a month-long vacation. I need money. I want a partner (of some gender). I want many close friends. I want an extensive library of books and movies. I want to live a long time. Does anyone see a concrete goal in there other than friends/money/books/movies? Perhaps that's my problem, that I'm focusing on the end result and not really caring how I get there. I think I need to think about that... Current Mood: thoughtful (12 x $0.02 added | Put in some money?)